Pet Shopping

“But daddy I wanted one of the cute humans, this one is all sad and fat.”

Fat, I think poking my midriff, I am not fat, “excuse me?” I begin hoping to get the older green blob to turn back around from the instrument panel he uses to navigate the craft out of the Earthen atmosphere.

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I had very little time to decide.”

“Look, everyone,” I say again standing up and for the first time not being concerned with how naked I was. “I am not a pet.”

“Oh, daddy. Never mind look he is talking like he thinks he’s Zopnok!”

“Oh God,” I scream as the blob picks me up by my left arm. I dangle as she licks my face with a transparent tongue, or what I assume is a tongue only because I would rather it be that and not some other alternative.

As she licks I scream.

“Oh daddy this one loves me, it’s purring.”

“As long as you’re happy darling.”

Published by Bryan Aiello

Raised on Florida’s Gulf Coast, Bryan served in the Army, graduated from the University of South Florida and now calls Brooklyn home. For more of his fiction and updates on his podcasts, follow him on Twitter: @bryaiello and Reddit: /u/voyage_of_roadkill.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: